I just found another blind spot, and it's a doozy.

I'm using a tried and true method to overcome it. Maybe you'll want to give it a try to overcome one of your repeating patterns too. Here's my story...

​

Every relationship is a mirror, and if you have the courage to look, you'll see aspects of yourself that may scare you, maybe something you've never seen before. If you embrace it, then you can create a grander vision of yourself and your life, and change your reality.

​

Here's what recently triggered me to look in the mirror.

I just went through a breakup. It was a short relationship, and I was confused much of the time. There were things he was hiding under the blanket of "I share my emotions when I feel they need to be shared." as well as what he claimed was long-haul Covid, but now I think may have been something else entirely.

I finally wised up when his words didn't align with his actions. Basically, the mask came off.

I wanted to know what I was missing.

I took some time to connect with my soul.

(But wait, here's a TRIGGER WARNING) - I'm going in deep on this one. I'm sharing my story - raw and real.

You may very well relate to my story, and if so, it may trigger you. Read this when you have some time and space just in case you need to process your own feelings from it.

And don't worry about me. You'll read some rough things about my backstory, but I'm at peace now. It's all good. I see the gifts in my experiences.

---

Your soul speaks. If my soul were to write me a letter about this blind spot, here's how it would go:

Dear April,

It's time that you know this.

You've heard a million times that your parents love you unconditionally, right?

It's not true.

Your Dad had lots of conditions. Hear me out. I know it's a hard pill to swallow.

But you remember what happened when you forgot to put away your toys that day when you were 3 or 4, right? He burned your favorite toy and had you in tears to "teach you a lesson".

That actually wasn't love. He felt disrespected and angry and he took it out on you.

The belt whippings, the screaming, that time he threw every dish to the floor terrifying you, the threats of not getting anything for Christmas, the guilt trips… that didn't come from a place of love.

​

Your idea of unconditional love is distorted.

​

See people have gotten an idea of love programmed into their minds based on how they were raised and by things that were said and repeated over and over in different ways. Many people don't even realize they aren't being loving. They are just on auto-pilot, following a program. They don't know better.

Even if they do see it their mind defends itself and its identity. It doesn't want to feel guilty so it tries to block it out, deny it, discount it, or downgrade it.

And I hate to break it to you, but…

You've picked up some bad habits from the way you were raised.

​

You learned some skills as a child to deal with your Dad that are blocking you now.

​

You learned to be quiet, to be "seen and not heard". Now you find it hard to use your voice with men.

You learned not to cry, or your Dad would "give you something to cry about". Now you find it hard to express the depth of your emotion with men.

Your Dad didn't know how to handle his emotions with care, let alone yours, so he avoided them as much as possible, and you learned that's what love looks like. He wasn't deeply connected to you, and you've struggled to find a man that would be.

He showed appreciation only for your high achievements so you learned to be a good girl and do what he said, and be who he wanted you to be - the "A" student.

He wanted to spend time with you, as long as he was doing what he wanted to do. You could do what you wanted on your own time and he could hardly care less what you did. You learned your value was tied to what you could do or would do, rather than who you naturally were.

Your Dad put in a lot of effort to pay the bills and he gave gifts to you, and not much more. He just didn't put much effort into having a relationship with you, and that became your normal.

And it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even his fault. He learned that too. He was simply passing down what was passed to him.

​

You've been stuck in a repeating pattern that I know you want to be free of. In fact, it's weighing you down and holding you back from what you really want.

​

This happens to everyone in their own way, they get their own unique programming and cycles. And not everyone figures it out. Not everyone can face it, face themselves, face the truth.

But you...

​

You're ready.

​

And I'm going to make this as easy as possible for you, April.

​

You need to break these patterns, and you can't just forget them. You have to reprogram yourself.

​

There are lots of ways to do it. Try out as many methods as you need to. Just make sure the new programming sinks in…

That you get it in your very bones.

It's gotta be part of you. Got it?

Let's start with a method that's worked for you on other topics, April.

​

Write a New Vision for Your Romantic Partnership.

​

You can make this as long as you want. If you like, you can tell the story of a day or a year in your life. Write and write until you feel everything has come out. Don't edit. Just write. You can do this in more than one sitting if you need to.

Contemplate This and Write without Editing

When you know what you don't want, it can help you figure out what you do want. Here are some things to consider as you're writing.

1. Go through all of those observations about your relationship with your Dad and write down what you want for yourself instead. It might be as simple as the opposite of what your relationship with your Dad was. You've been doing great with the girlfriends in your life, so take clues from those relationships.
2. Evaluate your past relationships and write down what you don't want. Write down what you want that's different, and set new standards for what you will no longer tolerate.
3. Write down what kind of relationship you want with yourself too. Know that the relationship you have with you is the same thing you'll be able to offer to everyone else.

Clarify your Vision and Use Empowering Language

After that, I want you to type up a summary using wording that is clear, positive, empowering, and concise. It should be fairly short, maybe a paragraph or two.

Rehearse your Vision

Now you need to read that out loud every night before you go to sleep.

Bonus points if you read it every morning.

Triple-A bonus if you record it so you can play it back to yourself multiple times a day in the background, or while you're sleeping. You can even put the volume down really low and play it in the background. Your subconscious mind will pick up on it and help with the reprogramming.

​

Sound like too much?

​

Brainwashing is what got you into this mess. It can get you out.

​

This is how you were programmed in the first place…repetition.

This time though, you get to choose the program.

As the days go on, you'll start noticing new thoughts, and new ideas for new ways of doing things.

This could be a little uncomfortable at first. Accept that. The ways you were doing things before were uncomfortable too. You just got familiar with it.

You've got to push through the discomfort to make the changes stick.

You need to think different to BE different.

I'm always here if you need me. Reach out anytime.

You got this!

​

With love always,

Your Soul

​

---

That's it for the letter from my soul. Maybe you've got it down when it comes to your romantic partnership. Maybe you're stuck in another area. Whatever it is, if it's been persistent, I highly recommend giving this method a try for 30 days.

"If you're not being defined by a vision of the future then you're left with the old memories of the past and you will be predictable in your life." -Dr. Joe Dispenza

​

---

You've made it to the end, and I would be ever so grateful to hear from you because I want these letters to be as clear and powerful for you, as they are for me. And let me know if you'd like to see what I came up with for my new vision for relationships, and what I've been experiencing since I put this method into practice.

​

P.S. I'm here for YOU if you need help with this. Reach out anytime.

---